first five sentences.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009 at 2:23 PM
At giveagirlapen.com, I recently posted about the importance of the first five pages of one's book. It turned into a few more posts about the first five sentences. Because, let's face it, if a reader (agent, namely) cannot get past the opening, there's not much chance s/he will read any further.

After all of these posts and critical feedback from other writers, I have come up with two sets of my first five sentences.
One set is the beginning of my prologue.
The other is the beginning of Chapter One, which occurs twenty years later...and the book continues from that point.

Here they are::
- I added a few more sentences to include the full two beginning paragraphs of each.
It's my blog. I'm allowed ;)

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Prologue First Five(ish)::

Ankou enjoyed delaying pleasure--stretching out the game until he couldn’t stand it any longer. Killing a faery was a rare occasion and so when the opportunity presented itself, he made sure to savor it.

The blonde lovely had given birth to a darling girl. Her unexpected pain satisfied Ankou immensely. He had thought the mother would be stronger--it was odd to encounter any weak fae, but it was to Ankou’s benefit she fell in the minority that morning. Such suffering gratified him. Next to consuming an entire soul, fear and pain came second best. He was incensed, though, that she recovered so quickly.

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Chapter One First Five(ish)::

Sitting straight up in bed, Alexis looked all around her. Patting the sheets to feel they were real, she pulled them close to herself and attempted to gather her bearings.

A second ago, she was deep in the forest with beautiful creatures. She’d smelled fresh air and bathed in the sun’s rays that filtered through the trees. Some of the beings were winged and flew above her head as she watched in awe. Others were like penguins in that they couldn’t fly, but that didn’t take away from their magic. Alexis found them all to be wonderful. Not a single one was as boring and simple as the pale, yellow walls and dark, matching furniture that Mrs. Hodge had chosen for her daughter’s bedroom.


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So there you have it :D

Not sure if I've posted my blurb on this blog or not, but even if I have, here it is again. This is the super condensed version::

**Intense visions transport twenty-year-old Alexis to the unseen world of faeries. She soon discovers she was born into this world, and it’s where she truly belongs--it is Avalon.
Two friends guide her home after a nightmare reveals that one of her kind is attacking mortals. History has never seen such evil, and Alexis alone must stop it.
The unexpected help of a Depraved faery makes this quest easier. But, when Alexis becomes attached to him and starts seeing the world differently, will she have the strength to choose the right path? Or, will she succumb to her innermost demons at the expense of innocence?


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